Archive for the ‘Etiquette’ Category

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Catholic Funerals

Friday, February 25th, 2011

Catholic FuneralsWhen you’re planning a funeral, it is important to adhere to the religious beliefs that sustained the deceased during his or her lifetime. Not only does this honor the life of the deceased, but it often brings great comfort to those he or she left behind, as well.

One of the most well-known types of burial arrangements belongs to those of the Catholic faith. Catholics believe that in addition to grieving during a funeral, it’s also a time of rejoicing for the passing of the deceased into eternal life. Depending on how traditional the deceased’s beliefs and the church he or she attended, a Catholic funeral can be a long and somber event or a more lighthearted affair.

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Military Funerals

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

Military FuneralsIf you are planning a funeral either in advance or soon after the death of a family member, you may want to consider military funeral benefits. In some cases, you can receive financial assistance in covering funeral costs; in others, you may receive ceremonial privileges that will allow you to send your loved one off with the honor and respect achieved over a lifetime of hard work and devotion.

The traditional components of a military funeral—including the playing of Taps, a gunshot salute, a drumming corp, a flag ceremony, or even a procession of guards—range from simple to ostentatious, depending on the contributions of the individual to our country and how he or she wished to be honored in death.

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After the Service – Funeral Etiquette

Wednesday, December 29th, 2010

After the Service – Funeral EtiquetteFor those not involved with the actual funeral planning, it can be awkward to know what to do. Fortunately, there are standard “rules” of funeral etiquette that can help you navigate the situation. Everything from funeral attire to expressions of sympathy is covered on many funeral resources such as this site.

The Funeral Service

The parts of the funeral that most people are familiar with are the memorial service and the burial. In some cases, the memorial service may actually take place “graveside” and will include the burial. During the services, a eulogy will usually be offered, a religious ceremony may take place, and guests are sometimes given the opportunity to speak before the attendees in order to share their memories of the deceased.

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Funeral Attendance and Etiquette

Monday, December 27th, 2010

Funeral Attendance and EtiquetteShould you send funeral flowers? Is it OK to wear blue instead of black? What should you say?

These are all questions that may run through your mind when planning to attend a funeral. Times like these tend to cause people to walk on eggshells, and knowing the proper funeral etiquette can be helpful in alleviating some nerves. Being aware of what to expect and the role you will play can make funeral attendance less intimidating. If you plan to attend the services or send funeral flowers, you should be aware that there could be multiple services. For example, a “visitation” or “viewing” may take place at the funeral home sometime before the actual funeral or memorial service. This can be a time to visit the deceased and to lend kind words to the family. The memorial service itself can be held at the funeral home, a house of worship, or even in the cemetery.

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Expressions of Sympathy

Friday, November 26th, 2010

Expressions of SympathyWhile some friends and family members find themselves deeply involved in funeral planning, others are instead searching for the most fitting expressions of sympathy. The appropriate expressions vary from culture to culture, as do so many of the customs that surround final arrangements. Those looking for the appropriate way to offer their condolences properly have several options available.

Funeral Flowers

One of the best-recognized expressions of sympathy is flowers. Arranged in a bouquet, basket, easel, or wreath, these outward signs of sympathy are often displayed at both the funeral home and the cemetery during the service. They may also be sent directly to the family’s home to lend comfort during the difficult time.

Funeral flowers offer a bit of elegance and an affirmation of the beauty of life. The flowers themselves are meant to honor the deceased’s life, so it is not important to worry about whether or not an arrangement is somber enough. Some people choose to send live plants that can be kept in the house or planted in a garden as an ongoing tribute. It is important to note that many religions do not follow traditional funeral flower customs, so you may need to alter your plan accordingly. (more…)

When You’re in Charge of the Funeral Plans

Tuesday, November 16th, 2010

When You’re in Charge of the Funeral PlansWhen it is up to you to take on the responsibility of funeral planning, it can be helpful to have some guidance. From choosing a funeral home to making burial arrangements, there are a lot of decisions to be made. In addition, you likely need to attend to the comfort of others as well as to your own grief. Fortunately, there are resources available to simplify funeral planning.

Funeral Directors and Homes

The funeral planning process will probably be easier with the guidance of an experienced funeral director. These professionals are educated in proper procedures and can help you to respect traditions and the law regarding funeral services. The funeral director will work with the funeral home that you choose. You may find that your clergy person or a friend will have recommendations for you regarding what funeral home you may want to use.
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Funeral Planning and Family Heirlooms

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

Funeral Planning and Family HeirloomsWhen funeral planning, it’s common to spend some time sorting through your possessions as well as the possessions of the deceased. This difficult time is often made better by going through memories that you’ve shared as friends and family members, and finding photographs, keepsakes, and hand-written notes is a great way to infuse a positive spin on the mourning process.

Much of the time, this is done before the funeral takes place, since you may want some of these keepsakes and pictures to display at the ceremony or to give to a loved one who will be in attendance. Some families also wait a few weeks in order to have the time they need to sort through items or even to determine who gets what, as determined by the will.

Both situations are just fine, and only you can determine for certain what works best for your family. However, one thing that remains the same regardless of your background and situation is just how precious family heirlooms can be.
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International Funeral Customs

Monday, October 11th, 2010

International Funeral CustomsFuneral planning is not unique to the Untied States or even to western cultures. For as long as there has been human existence, there has been a way to honor and celebrate the passage of life to death. Many of these funeral customs have their roots in religion, and those that are still in existence today have become a way to celebrate unique cultures and countries.

Although all funeral planning is different according to the individual, and there is no cultural universal that demands all funerals be the same, some of the most interesting funeral customs include:

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At a Loss for Words? Offering Support for a Grieving Family

Monday, September 20th, 2010

At a Loss for Words? Offering Support for a Grieving FamilyIn the midst of death, grief, and funeral planning, it can be very difficult for families to cope with the loss they face. Everyone grieves in a different way, and providing support can be a challenge – especially if you’re uncertain what you can do that won’t add even more worry or work to an already overburdened load.

Depending on how well you know the family (and your location), here are a few different types of support you can provide.

Ask what you can do to help with the funeral plans. Although showing up at the funeral home to help pick out a casket or providing your thoughts on cremation aren’t great ideas unless you’ve been directly asked, it is nice to offer your support. Let the family know that
you are willing to help out in any way you can, even if it’s a simple as gathering favorite
photos or buying a nice flower arrangement for the memorial service.
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Attending the Funeral of an Estranged Friend or Family Member

Monday, September 6th, 2010

Attending the Funeral of an Estranged Friend or Family MemberMany times, we are unable to reconcile disagreements, estrangements, and relationships before a loved one passes away. It doesn’t matter whether you spent years not talking to one another, or if the disagreement is recent and still very painful – it’s never easy to deal with death when there are lingering emotions that haven’t been sorted out. And in cases where the emotions are negative, there are even more considerations to keep in mind during the funeral planning process.

Some of the key questions to ask yourself before attending the funeral of someone you have been estranged from include:

Can you (and the family) put aside any bad feelings for the day? Most of the time, a funeral is considered something of a neutral zone, in which everyone is allowed to bereave and pay their respects as they see fit. If this isn’t the case in your particular situation, it might be better to find a different way to say your goodbyes.

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