Funeral etiquette is complicated even under the most traditional of family circumstances, so when you throw in blended families and issues related to divorce and remarriage, things can quickly become tangled up. Is it acceptable to go to the funeral of an ex-spouse? What about extended family of your ex to whom you remained close? And what happens if you are footing part of the bill for the burial? (more…)
Archive for the ‘Etiquette’ Category
Funeral Etiquette: Funerals and Divorce
Friday, September 5th, 2014Kids and Death: Alternatives to a Funeral
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014
Not every child is emotionally equipped to attend a funeral, and not every funeral is welcoming to attendees under a certain age. The decision of whether or not to bring kids to a funeral has long been a source of contention within families, and there is no easy answer regarding whether or not it’s acceptable. In almost all cases, it comes down to the child’s age, the child’s relationship to the deceased, and the wishes of the family.
Common Funeral Planning Mistakes
Wednesday, August 20th, 2014
Funeral planning is never an easy task, especially since it’s something few people are trained for (and because it’s something you hopefully don’t have to practice very often). Being caught unaware of the correct protocol is one of the easiest ways to overpay or get taken advantage of, which is why it’s a good idea to become familiar with the biggest funeral planning pitfalls ahead of time. (more…)
How to Plan a Simple Funeral
Wednesday, July 30th, 2014
In all the hassle of planning funerals and choosing caskets and selecting the perfect spray of sympathy flowers to demonstrate your loss, it’s not uncommon for families to lose sight of the bigger picture of death. A funeral, no matter how or when or why it occurs, is your final chance to say goodbye, and the most important thing is that your focus remains on the deceased. If your goal is to get rid of the elaborate trappings of death and put your attention where it matters most, a simple funeral might be right for you.
Basic Funeral Options
Direct Cremation/Direct Burial: The fastest and easiest way to plan a simple funeral is to opt for direct burial or direct cremation. These options, which take care of the body without a ceremony or any elaborate details, are low in cost and provide much the same results as a more elaborate ceremony—you either end up with a box of ashes or a place to visit the deceased in a cemetery. It’s merely the process of getting there that is pared down.
Expensive Funerals in History
Sunday, July 13th, 2014
Most people tend to look at high funeral costs as a modern thing. We know that burial space is at a premium, and that families will pay extra to ensure that their loved ones are treated with respect and ceremony, and assume that this is the result of present-day attitudes toward death and dying.
In reality, today’s funerals are often less ostentatious than those of our forebears. The Victorians were notorious for making burial into a lengthy and expensive process, often going into mourning for an entire year after the headstone was erected. Not only would they pay to have the full procession, wake, and burial, but they’d continue to purchase black mourning clothes and avoid parties for months afterward.
The Victorians weren’t the only ones to make a show out of death. Some of the most expensive funerals in history took place during a time when money was tight and the everyday man paid the biggest price.
What to Send instead of Funeral Flowers
Thursday, May 8th, 2014
There’s no denying that it has become commonplace to send sympathy flowers and funeral bouquets to show your regard for the dearly departed. Adding a touch of color to the memorial service and bringing hope to the family, funeral flowers are a great way to demonstrate support and love.
However, funeral flowers aren’t for everyone. Whether the family asks you to skip the blooms in lieu of a charitable contribution, or if the deceased was concerned for the environment and is asking for a green funeral, you may be asked to send an alternative sympathy gift. Here are few ideas.
- “In Lieu of” Donations: The most common non-floral gift is one of money. Many families will select a charity that meant something special to the deceased and ask for contributions to be made in his or her name. You can also find a charity of your own to support. Whether you formally make the donation in the deceased’s name, or if you give the money and leave things there, these kinds of gifts are lasting and meaningful. (more…)
Five Funeral Trends for 2014
Thursday, April 24th, 2014
Like most traditions and ceremonial events, funeral planning changes over the years. Whether it’s the annual increase in the number of cremations or the prevalence of “green funerals” that seek to reduce an impact on the environment, popular funeral trends have a way of sticking around. As we enter 2014, here are a few of the funeral planning trends and practices to expect in the coming year.
- Customized Funeral Arrangements: While most of the traditions of funeral planning will stay in place, don’t be surprised to find personal touches in the details. Colorful caskets, rock music that was enjoyed by the deceased during his/her life, family members speaking in place of clergy during the ceremony—all these things add a lighthearted touch without going overboard. And because these details rarely add to the funeral costs, they provide an economically viable way to make a funeral unique. (more…)
How to Write Your Own Obituary
Monday, April 21st, 2014
When it comes to funeral planning, some people prefer to have everything taken care of ahead of time. In addition to setting aside money for a funeral, this includes choosing things like caskets and headstones ahead of time. And if you really don’t want to leave anything to chance, you can also write your own obituary.
After all, no one can sum up your life quite as well as you can. Awards and achievements—those things that look good on paper—might make for a nice newspaper article, but they rarely capture who you are as a person and what kind of message you want to leave behind. If writing your own obituary and placing it with your estate plans is something that appeals to you, here’s how you can best go about it. (more…)
10 Ways to Dispose of a Loved One’s Ashes
Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Cremation is gaining traction as the funeral planning method of choice, with over a third of Americans opting to be cremated over being buried. These numbers are only expected to continue rising, and estimates suggest that over half of all deaths will end in cremation by the year 2020.
Of course, just because cremation is becoming more popular doesn’t mean everyone will have to dispose of the ashes in the same way. One of the best things about cremation is how creative you can get with the remains. Here are ten unique and not-so-unique ways to say goodbye to your loved one.
- Display the Urn: Although some people find it macabre to keep a loved one’s ashes displayed on the mantle, this is a traditional option for anyone who wants to stay near their dear and departed. A decorative urn can be placed in the home or in a columbarium for regular visitations.
- Ash Scattering Ceremony: Most people opt to scatter the cremated remains of a loved one. Whether you go out back in the garden or stand on the bow of a boat and send the ashes off to sea, scattering the ashes is a great way to say goodbye (just make sure you have the right permits first) (more…)
Best Places to Scatter Ashes
Monday, April 7th, 2014
If you’ve recently cremated a loved one and are looking for creative yet respectful ways to dispose of the ashes, an ash scattering ceremony is a good choice. Although not every public or private area allows for this kind of option, these locations are some of the favorites for scattering ashes and saying goodbye.
- Garden or Flowerbed: There’s no reason why you have to travel to the ocean or far away to send the proper respects to the deceased. One of the most popular places to scatter ashes is in the deceased’s garden, orchard, or flowerbed. Because it’s your own land, you don’t have to worry about getting permission, and you can erect any kind of monument you want afterwards.
