Funeral Planning: What to Do in the Days between Death and the Funeral

Funeral Planning: What to Do in the Days between Death and the Funeral

What to Do in the Days between Death and the Funeral

When a loved one dies, the task of funeral planning often helps relieve you of your burden of grief. There is something about making burial arrangements, coordinating guests, and cooking funeral food that allows you to get through those first few difficult days.

While no amount of “keeping busy” will delay your grief forever (and most mental health counselors would suggest this is a bad idea over the long term anyway), having a list of activities for the days or week preceding the funeral might be a good idea. Because you’ll have quite a few family members and friends in town for the funeral, and because you won’t be attending work or your regular functions, finding activities that keep everyone productive can be therapeutic.

Pre-Funeral Activity and Outing Ideas

  • Visit the Deceased’s Favorite Places: Did the deceased love a local sports team that has an upcoming game? Did he or she have a favorite park? Is there a lake or tourist site that reminds you of the deceased? If you have out-of-town guests who aren’t familiar with your city, try taking some time to visit sites that remind you of your times together.
  • Bake for the Funeral: Catering a funeral or memorial service can really help save you time, but if cooking soothes you, try doing some of the meal preparation yourself. Pulling out the deceased’s favorite recipes and doing the shopping can be a great way to bring back memories and stay busy at the same time.
  • Work on DIY Funeral Projects: Create the funeral flower bouquets yourself from the deceased’s garden. Gather up photos to make a scrapbook or slideshow for the memorial service. Choose funeral songs and poems that capture the right mood. Write the obituary or your eulogy. It’s often helpful to the family if you can look on those small funeral choices as a way to stay in touch with your loved one rather than as a chore.
  • Entertain Your Guests: There is no rule that says you have to sit around telling sad stories about the deceased or feeling nothing but grief. Enjoy this rare moment to be with your friends and family without the pressure of work. You can go out to restaurants or local sights, or you can stay in and play games or have a barbeque. It’s okay to laugh with those you love.
  • Prepare for the Weeks to Come: The busyness of the week before the funeral will soon give way to a long battle of grief, bereavement, and learning to find your feet in this world without the deceased. Everyone handles mourning differently, and you can prepare by anticipating your future needs. Prepare meals and put them in the freezer for those days when cooking will be too much. Stock up on supplies so you won’t have to go to the store when you’re feeling under the weather. Do what you can to take advantage of having other people around so that you won’t be overwhelmed once they all leave and you’re on your own.

The days leading up to a funeral don’t have to be wasted ones. Make the most of your time by doing activities the deceased would have loved and cherishing the memories you made together.

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