Posts Tagged ‘grieving’

Pet cemeteries are an important part of the grieving process for many individuals who have lost a beloved pet. While most pet funeral plans include a backyard service or a call to the local animal shelter to handle the remains, it’s becoming increasingly more common for individuals to opt for a formal service (ranging from pet cremation to traditional burial).

This practice is nothing new in the United States—in fact, the oldest pet cemetery in the world can be found in Hartsdale, New York. The Hartsdale Pet Cemetery facility, established in 1896, is currently the final resting place for tens of thousands of animals, and continues to provide a burial place for pets even today.

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One of the more difficult aspects of funeral planning—whether you’re doing it in the stages leading up to death or after the fact—is orienting children toward the proper methods of grief. Like adults, children grieve in different ways from one another, especially when you take into consideration different ages and the relationship each child had with the deceased.

Also similar to adults, children grieve through a series of steps, each one building on the last as they process their emotions and the sudden change in their world. Although the following is meant to be a guideline for these stages, please note that the advice offered here is never a substitute for professional therapy. When it comes to our kids, it can be very beneficial to seek guidance so that they not only mourn their loss properly, but also learn how to cope with future losses in their lives.

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While some friends and family members find themselves deeply involved in funeral planning, others are instead searching for the most fitting expressions of sympathy. The appropriate expressions vary from culture to culture, as do so many of the customs that surround final arrangements. Those looking for the appropriate way to offer their condolences properly have several options available.

Funeral Flowers

One of the best-recognized expressions of sympathy is flowers. Arranged in a bouquet, basket, easel, or wreath, these outward signs of sympathy are often displayed at both the funeral home and the cemetery during the service. They may also be sent directly to the family’s home to lend comfort during the difficult time.

Funeral flowers offer a bit of elegance and an affirmation of the beauty of life. The flowers themselves are meant to honor the deceased’s life, so it is not important to worry about whether or not an arrangement is somber enough. Some people choose to send live plants that can be kept in the house or planted in a garden as an ongoing tribute. It is important to note that many religions do not follow traditional funeral flower customs, so you may need to alter your plan accordingly. (more…)

Memorial keepsakes offer a great way to honor your loved ones in a visible way. All too often, mourning takes place on the inside, and the emotions we feel are sometimes at odds with the front we present to the world. Small tokens of grief (usually in the form of window decals, memorial jewelry, or even a memorial tattoo) allow you to put some of that mourning on the outside. And for those wishing to send something more than a bereavement card or funeral flowers, memorial keepsakes add a unique, elegant touch that most families will appreciate.

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In the midst of death, grief, and funeral planning, it can be very difficult for families to cope with the loss they face. Everyone grieves in a different way, and providing support can be a challenge – especially if you’re uncertain what you can do that won’t add even more worry or work to an already overburdened load.

Depending on how well you know the family (and your location), here are a few different types of support you can provide.

Ask what you can do to help with the funeral plans. Although showing up at the funeral home to help pick out a casket or providing your thoughts on cremation aren’t great ideas unless you’ve been directly asked, it is nice to offer your support. Let the family know that
you are willing to help out in any way you can, even if it’s a simple as gathering favorite
photos or buying a nice flower arrangement for the memorial service.
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Many times, we are unable to reconcile disagreements, estrangements, and relationships before a loved one passes away. It doesn’t matter whether you spent years not talking to one another, or if the disagreement is recent and still very painful – it’s never easy to deal with death when there are lingering emotions that haven’t been sorted out. And in cases where the emotions are negative, there are even more considerations to keep in mind during the funeral planning process.

Some of the key questions to ask yourself before attending the funeral of someone you have been estranged from include:

Can you (and the family) put aside any bad feelings for the day? Most of the time, a funeral is considered something of a neutral zone, in which everyone is allowed to bereave and pay their respects as they see fit. If this isn’t the case in your particular situation, it might be better to find a different way to say your goodbyes.

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Gravesites are often so much more than a final resting place for a deceased loved one. In many cases, famous cemeteries and celebrity graves become a draw for tourists, historians, and locals interested in paying their respects. Almost all cemeteries are open to the public, and although there might be restrictions regarding headstone rubbings or leaving flowers or other items at the grave, you can usually visit any grave you wish.

If you’re looking for the grave of a certain person – whether a celebrity, important historical figure, or an ancestor of your own – there are great online resources you can turn to for help.

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When it comes to our families, some of us have a few more members of the four-footed variety. Funeral planning for our pet isn’t something that comes up very often between playtime and feeding, but it is an issue that has to be addressed. Cats and dogs have shorter life spans than humans, making burial arrangements an inevitable necessity. Understanding your options, however, can make planning a funeral for your pet much easier.
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The one part of funeral planning that almost no one can prepare for is the act of grieving over the loss of a loved one. There is no way to know for sure how death will affect you until it happens, and the way you process your emotions is unique to you and your relationship with the deceased.

Just like planning a funeral, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Whether you turn to religion, to familiar comforts, or take your time in coming to terms with your loss, there are resources you can turn to in order to make the process easier.
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Burial options are more diverse today than they have ever been before. People are opting for everything from traditional cemetery plots and urns to more unusual choices like donation for the advancement of science and medicine. All of these are part of the natural process of passing on, and the decision of which one to choose ultimately rests with the deceased and the family he or she leaves behind.

One important consideration when choosing which type of burial method to use involves taking into account the power of having a place to bereave. The process of grieving the loss of a loved one is a very personalized and individual one. No two people will handle the process in exactly the same way, and there is no real way to prepare for the pain of losing someone you care about. However, one of the features of grief that is almost universal is the power of having someplace you can go to say your goodbyes and heal properly.

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